The result of being public

   What does it feel like to have one of your most personal, emotional, and life-changing situations become public knowledge? What does it feel like to have people you barely know come up to you and talk to you about some things that most people keep completely private? What does it feel like to have your whole world be everybody’s business? Well, let me tell you!
   At first, it was extremely difficult. It was awkward. It was scary and nerve-wracking. Sometimes it was off-putting, and other times it was wonderful. There were times when I wasn’t totally sure that I had done the right thing by sharing our story. There were times when I wanted to hide under a rock and cry, and never come back out. But those times, for the most part, are over now.
   I know, reading this you must be wondering why, if it was so difficult, did I put it all out there? I know I have given reasons before, and they were all true, but now, with hindsight as this all slowly comes together, I know for a fact that it was the right thing, the best thing, and the most powerful thing to do.
   I am just a regular woman trying to figure life out like everyone else, but I have a unique and moving story to tell. I have had experiences that not a lot of people get in life, and I think it would be foolish and selfish if I kept it all to myself. Life is not about experiencing things, learning, and then forgetting all about them. Life is about experiencing things, learning from them, and becoming better because of them.
   For me, sharing my life, or parts of it at least, has helped me become better. This situation has helped me not only to really learn who my true friends are, but it has also restored my faith in humanity, something that was leaving me much too early for my liking. It has helped put things into a perspective that I wasn’t otherwise able to see, and it has helped me express myself to family and friends in a way that I wasn’t fully able to do just by talking. Some things are hard to say. Some reactions are hard to receive.
   Having written all this out for my family and friends to read at their own leisure has saved both them and me many hard conversations, but also created many conversations that might not have happened if I hadn’t been open.
   Had I just kept everything private, I would have suffered alone much more than I did. Ryan would have suffered alone, while watching me break down and not knowing how to pick me back up or where to turn. But because I had this place to come to, to let it all out, to be able to tell everyone what was going on… when I was ready… and how I wanted them to hear it, was such a relief for me. It saved Ryan having to tell people, and it saved our families from having to really talk about the toughest parts, unless or until they were ready. I opened up enough to be vulnerable, which was very difficult and scary to do, and really let people see ME. But I only opened up as I was ready to do so.
   I have gathered a network of women who are going through infertility and really understand the heartache and grief that comes with such a situation. And I have gathered a group of people (much larger than I ever anticipated) who support Ryan and me and are giving us their undying love. Without making the decision to be open and vulnerable, I would never have known these people, nor would any of them know the suffering we went through, or that we were suffering at all. And of course, I might never know their suffering or loss. We are helping each other.
   And, without the willingness to be open, we might never have the support needed for the situation, and the fundraising that we must do. I know I say it all the time, but the love, support and generosity of everyone is completely overwhelming and just so amazing. Ryan and I are so unbelievably grateful.
   I hope that by sharing my story, I am able to help other women and couples who are struggling through infertility, and give them the confidence and strength to share their stories and to know they are not alone.
   Although our needing a surrogate does not ultimately stem from an infertility issue and it took a very long time for me to allow myself to relate to that, it really is very similar. The grief and loss that is felt is the same, the worry and fear that this might never happen for us is the same, and the loneliness of not having anyone who understands is very much the same. I am not infertile, but I am grieving infertility. I am not trying to get pregnant, but am trying to make a baby. I want to give my husband a child, and I want to be a mom. It is all the same, and I am so sorry for anyone and everyone who has, is, or will go through these same emotions.
   I know we aren’t yet pregnant, and that things might still go wrong. But with the power of positive thinking, a lot of faith, and some proactive behaviour, I do believe all things are possible. The sadness can come to an end, and happiness is achievable. I feel it already. I am happy. I am not sad anymore, and I do not feel sorry for myself anymore.
   Through all darkness comes a light, and I can see it already. I feel it. I am hopeful, grateful, and excited. To all of you reading this, I offer a most sincere thank-you for allowing me into your life, and for coming into mine. Without this place, I may not be where I am today, and that just means the world to me.

The largest of blessings, are those that are small. | Medical Expenses - YouCaring.com

The largest of blessings, are those that are small. | Medical Expenses - YouCaring.com

Busy Making Plans

   They say that life is what happens when you’re busy making plans. Isn’t that the truth? As I sit down to write this, I am completely overcome with emotion… I’m not quite sure how I am going to get through it, but here goes…
   Life has been so busy that I have found myself staying up later at night and getting up earlier in the mornings just to have some “me” time. I do understand that when/if a child comes into our life I am going to laugh at myself for having felt this way as a childless person. But, I plead ignorance at this point. I don’t know what it’s like to have someone waiting on me for their every need 24/7. When that does happen, I am sure I will appreciate the time I have now, even though it currently doesn’t feel like I have any.
   Some wonderful, and some not so wonderful things are going on in this busy life. I will start with the not so wonderful. My sister was in a pedestrian vs. car accident while walking across the street a couple months ago. It was scary for sure, but she recovered from her injuries like a champ. She was doing well until a couple weeks ago when she was admitted to the hospital again, this time with a badly infected leg and blood infection. That, too, has cleared up, but other health concerns have come up and it looks like she will be in hospital for a few weeks more. She is such a trooper and a huge inspiration to me. She has been through so much challenge in her life, I often feel the hand she was dealt is grossly unfair.
   When times are tough, I think of her and all she has been through, and I know I will be okay no matter what. It has been difficult worrying about her, but there have also been some great things happening that help in dealing with the bad.
   Ryan’s sister had a baby girl in May. She’s beautiful and healthy and such a precious little gift. We are so excited to be aunty and uncle to her.
   My brother and his wife purchased their first home in Winnipeg and are anxiously waiting for the arrival of their second little bundle in July.
   We have four weddings to attend this summer, and that’s fantastic because we both love celebrating love.    We also have a family reunion to attend for each side of our family this summer. It will be nice to connect, and reconnect with our families. It doesn’t look like the business of life is going to slow down any time soon.
   Along with all of that going on, we are still on the baby road. We have completed the information session, the counseling, and have a clear-cut timeline regarding when the legal agreement needs to be finished, when the extraction will take place, and a pretty good idea as to when the transfer will happen! Forgive us but we want to keep some elements of all this private, so no sharing of dates for now. We will let you know that part when we are ready!
   But, I am extremely excited to let you know that we have two fundraisers happening. We have created an online fundraiser through the website called YouCaring. It’s similar to Kickstarter or GoFundMe. This donation page (using PayPal) can be shared via social media, and is a great way to donate to personal situations. We are grateful for any and all donations we receive. Even if you are unable to support us but are interested in donating to other causes, I highly recommend that you check out YouCaring because there are so many people who can use financial help. The causes can be anything from medical bills to personal endeavours, to weddings, and everything in between. The link is at the end of this blog posting.
   We have also decided to have a live fundraiser on October 11th. We are hoping that will be where we will receive the largest gift toward offsetting our medical and legal fees. It will be similar to a wedding social. With the date and a location booked we are now ready to gather prizes. Again, we are beyond grateful for any and all donations that are sent our way. We don’t have tickets printed up just yet because we only just booked everything this week. We hope to have some printed and available in the next few weeks so that you ALL can come out and help us celebrate love and facilitate a new life.
   As unfortunate as it is that we need to take the surrogacy route, and that we need to have a fundraiser to afford it, we are elated that it is all coming to fruition! We are feeling very, very lucky for all the love and support we have surrounding us through the process, and we are extremely excited to celebrate the creation of our baby with our friends and family. We simply cannot wait for the day we can announce a viable pregnancy.
   So, yes, life is happening while we are busy planning our future. We are incredibly happy, blessed, and thankful for where we are and the path we are on. We cannot thank you all, our family and our friends enough for the support we have already received and are confident will continue throughout the process. And, of course, we don’t even have the proper words to thank our surrogate, her husband, and their family enough.
   We hope to see everyone that wants to support us in the fall at the fundraiser and, in the meantime, that you, too, are all enjoying your busy lives!
http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/the-largest-of-blessings-are-those-that-are-small-/195262

It takes a village

 
   It is time for an update again so here it is!

   We had our appointment to get the results from all of our blood work… and Ryan’s “swim-up” test. Leading up to the appointment, we both felt great. We weren’t worried about our results, though we knew that if they were bad the road we were on would come to an end and we, most likely, would fall apart emotionally.
   We talked a little about what we would do if we did have negative results, but neither of us truly felt that that would happen. We maintained a very hopeful, positive, and calm attitude right up to the day of the appointment. That day, Ryan was still calm, as usual, but I was suddenly very nervous. It started to sink in that we could get more bad news that day and our dreams of having a child might never come to fruition.
   Luckily, the appointment was in the morning so I didn’t have all day to work myself up, only a few hours… Our intuitions were right and we got great news! All of the results came back positive and we were given the “go ahead” to continue moving forward!
   We talked to the doctor for a while about what our next steps were going to be. The doctor went into detail about everything that is going to happen and told us we could register to get my eggs retrieved! Wow!!
   Diane’s first appointment to meet the doctor was coming up in a few weeks so we decided to wait until then before we registered. We left the appointment feeling elated, and since we both had the day off from work, we went out for a celebratory lunch. On the way to the restaurant, we called Diane to give her the good news and we all cheered and celebrated. At that moment it really began to sink in that this whole thing could all actually happen.
   Over lunch, Ryan and I talked about becoming parents, how happy we were, and how to begin fundraising! Once you are registered for egg retrieval, all the money and legal agreements need to be ready because the clinic won’t do anything until they are paid in full and they have seen our agreement. We called our parents, who were all completely over the moon, and we enjoyed the excitement of the day.
   Diane came into town for her appointment a few weeks later and stayed with us. It was so nice to spend time with her and talk all things surrogacy and baby! As luck would have it, I came down with the flu her first night with us and the next day was the appointment! I sucked it up enough to go the appointment with her, and Ryan surprised us by coming along too.
   The appointment went great and the reality sunk in even more. Diane’s results were good and she was given some other standard tests. I registered for my egg retrieval, which I was actually really nervous about because I didn’t know what kind of timeline we were looking at between registering and when it actually would happened. It turns out it’s a four-to-five month wait so, although I want it all to happen as fast as possible, it’s a good amount of time because we have so much to do and to organize in the meantime!
   We are approved to move ahead with Diane, so we are now waiting to get our mandatory counselling session. The number of sessions we need apparently depends on the couple but the counsellor said he anticipates it being just one for us. He explained why it’s mandatory and shared some examples of families using coercion for their surrogates as “bait.” For example, one couple had a family member who was willing to do it but lived in another country and wanted to move to Canada. During the first appointments everything seemed fine but during the counselling, it came out that the couple she was going to carry for were going to let her live with them, and pay for her to move here. But the only way they would do that for her was if she carried the baby for them.
   That is clearly not a typical situation but because things like that happen, the counselling is mandatory. It seems crazy to me that people would try to use any of this as a bargaining tool with someone else, but at the same time, I totally understand how people are willing to do anything to make their dreams come true, especially dreams of a family. Anyway, that stuck with me and made me just that much more grateful for Diane for being so giving, selfless, and loving.
   Along with the counselling, before the egg retrieval can happen we have to have a legal agreement written up by lawyers, which will cover all of the details about everything from the transfer to pregnancy to the birth plan to what happens after birth. Every province has different laws regarding whose name goes on the birth certificate and things like that. In Manitoba, it doesn’t matter whose DNA the baby has. It’s who gives birth to the baby so Diane’s name will go on the birth certificate. We will have to deal with all of that legally as well.
   The other thing that needs to happen before the retrieval is that we need to somehow come up with $20,000. Raising that amount of money in such a short time is going to be our biggest hurdle to date. It’s the part that has me the most stressed out. I have so much faith that the transfer will take, that the pregnancy will go smoothly, that both Diane and baby will be okay through it all, and that everything will work, but paying for it has me so worried.
   We have decided to have a fundraiser, similar to a social, but where, when, and how are still up in the air. It’s a little overwhelming trying to figure it all out and, to be completely honest, a little depressing that we even need to do it. But, hopefully, we’ll be able to raise the money we need by the time we need it so Diane can give us the gift of parenthood, and we can give the world an amazing little person. The saying, “It takes a village to raise a child,” goes through my head all the time because for us, it’s going to take at least a village to make this child.
   All of the science behind it all is so unreal to me. It is just so amazing that this is even possible. It makes me think about the fact that I have a pacemaker in my chest that is keeping me alive. A battery installed next to my heart is the very thing that lets me write this blog, have the life I have, and my dreams to fulfill. I am so unbelievably grateful I  cannot express or describe it in words. I am a living, breathing, thriving example of what science can achieve, and if we end up having a baby via surrogacy, he or she, too, will be another example.
   So we are ready, and this is actually happening. We are truly on our surrogacy journey, officially, totally and completely! We aren’t just waiting to find out if we can do it, we are doing it. At this point, the only things that will stop us are not having the money, not getting good enough eggs from the extraction, or if the transfer doesn’t take. We are hopeful that none of these things will happen and we are maintaining a very positive attitude.
   While she was in town, Diane and I even dragged Ryan through a high-end baby furniture store to “dream” a little. He was a pretty good sport, and since then has become more and more excited and open about the entire thing. He’s always good and happy, but he doesn’t really get excited—pretty quiet about it all. But even that seems to be changing, and watching his excitement grow makes mine grow even more. It is still really scary of course, and we know that it still might not work out. I think we find it easier to get excited when it’s just the two of us (or three when Diane’s here). When other people get excited, I find myself trying to talk them down and help them realize it might not happen. I feel like I will be disappointing so many people if this doesn’t work out so I don’t want them to get their hopes up too high. It’s such a fine line between being excited and being realistic.
   It’s still a long road ahead, with a huge financial bump to get over. I am adding a breakdown of the costs to help you all understand where all of the money needs to go. It sounds crazy when we say we need $20,000, but it adds up quickly! We’ve had so many people ask us just where it goes and what it’s for so, hopefully, this will help to put it into perspective.

Egg retrieval Registration:.......................................................................................... $550

Gestational Carrier IVF Cycle with ICSI:................................................................ $8800

Subsequent Thaw, ICSI, Embryo Culture & Transfer:........................................ $3500

Our Lawyer fees:........................................................................................ $2500 (approx)

Diane’s Lawyer fees:................................................................................. $1500 (approx)

Misc. expenses including medication, flights, clothes, etc.:............... $5000 (approx)

TOTAL:.................................................................................................................... $21,850

   ICSI is an extra step in the fertilization stage that the doctor said we will need in order to help ensure a viable pregnancy. Though all of our results were good, there were some factors that led to us needing to use this extra step. We were also not given a financial number as to what my medical costs will be for the hormones I will need, but we were told they are expensive.
   By law we cannot pay a surrogate for her “services” because it is considered an altruistic act. I love this law because I do believe it should be an altruistic act. I mean, this is life we are talking about, not buying a car or something.
   However, I also think we should be able to show our gratitude and appreciation for the sacrifices our surrogate will be making for us. It is common practice that the Intended Parents pay for travel expenses, medical expenses, lawyer fees, reimbursement for maternity clothes, and any other out-of-pocket costs the surrogate will undergo. This is something we will cover in our legal agreement. Of course, we would give the world to Diane if we could. 

   So, where do we go from here? Well, we wait for our counselling appointment, we try to arrange lawyers, and Diane has to undergo some further, more invasive testing. And we plan a fundraiser. We will be looking for and accepting any donations, or ideas for fundraising that may come our way. Once we have the details organized, I will write a post about that too!

A funny thing called perspective....

   Not too much is new, but it's time for an update, as it's been awhile, so here it is.
   We have all completed our initial tasks and, surprisingly, Ryan had the toughest job so far. He had to get some blood work done, which was no big deal, but he also had to get his “swimmers” tested. That was both nerve-wracking and very uncomfortable for him… so I will spare you the details, but it is done and we are now waiting for the results.
   I had to get blood work done at two different points in the month, and Diane had to get a referral from her doctor. Now, with all of these things being completed, we play the waiting game. Our appointment for Ryan’s results isn’t until mid-April, which is when I assume we will get my results from the blood work as well. They basically need to make sure we have viable sperm and eggs because, if there is an issue there, then this whole thing is all for not.
   We are still so excited and feeling so very blessed, and cannot wait for this all to come to fruition. I have to say though, we are really enjoying this waiting time as well. It’s definitely frustrating that it takes so long between appointments but it is really helping us to keep everything in perspective.
   Ryan and I are very good at seeing the bigger picture for most things in life and this, of course, is no different. Currently, we are getting to enjoy watching our friends and families build their own families. Because of our situation and, perhaps, unique awareness, I think we are appreciating more than we might otherwise, both what they are going through and what we won’t have to.
   We understand that our situation is going to bring all kinds of challenges that aren’t typical, like possibly not getting to go to ultra-sound appointments, not getting to feel the baby grow or see it growing every day, along with all kinds of emotional ups and downs that we cannot predict. But, we also know that we are going to be getting a very unique experience in this life that not many people have the opportunity to have. That is how I am looking at it now, by the way, as an opportunity and experience, rather than a forced situation. It has taken a much more positive perspective in my heart and mind than it ever has before. I was so down about it all before, and had a very “why me” attitude. I was very envious of all women who aren’t faced with this. But now I see it in a whole new way. Of course, I would still love to experience pregnancy, but this way I get to share that not only with my husband, but also another person and family as well. Not only is this going to affect Diane in a very unique and major way, but this will also affect her family. Her husband and children are going to have this as a part of their life story too, and, to me, that is beyond amazing!
   Ryan and I also talk about all the “down” sides to being pregnant that I won’t have to go through, like hormones out of whack, morning sickness, etc. Of course I’d be happy to take on all of it if I could, but not being able to, I am better able to see the positive spin on it, and I have to embrace that. Ryan, of course, is grateful he won't have to cater to my every whim...although I may get some 'sympathy' cravings hahaha....
   We are also doing this thing, which might seem crazy, but we are enjoying each other and our childless life. I work two jobs and have what can feel like very little 'free' time sometimes We are fully aware that when we do have a child, our life will be so different. But, since our road to parenthood is a much longer one than most, we are more appreciative of our child-free mornings, and structure-free lifestyle. We are enjoying our time together as a childless couple, and are more in love now than the day we married.
   Because we don’t have any results yet, we really don't have any idea as to what to expect next. Things can go smoothly, or there could be bumps in the road, or something could happen to make it all for not. We do our best not to think about what 'could' happen, and try to focus on the end result, which is becoming a family of 3 (or 4 if you want to count the dog).
   I believe it’s all in your own perspective, and I am grateful that I am now able to recognize and appreciate the positive sides to this experience. We both truly believe that things always have a way of working out as, and when they should, so we hold onto that and it helps us every day.
   The outpouring of love, support and contributions we received since the last blog posting have been beyond overwhelming. We cannot be more grateful, and we thank you!! Right now, we are not officially planning a social. We need the medical results first, a better time line, and a clearer cost outline before we begin any “real” plans. But, knowing that there are so many people out there who are willing to support us is, well, it just makes me cry tears of joy and appreciation. I truly do not have the right words for it besides love and gratitude.
   So, I hope all of you who have messaged me or someone in our family know that it has not gone unnoticed. It is appreciated to the ends of the earth. Ryan and I thank each and every one of you because without all of your love and encouragement, this road would be a lot more terrifying. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
   Until next time...

Our surrogate

  
   So what kind of woman offers to be a surrogate? I am sure that those of you who do not know us personally are wondering not only who this woman is to us, but to the world. Well, she is exactly the type of person I would ever want to be our surrogate… or anyone else’s.
   The story of how she came to be our surrogate is pretty amazing, even if I do say so myself, and often when I think of it all, I am still shocked that this is my reality, and all thanks to her. What do you say about someone who has given you everything you could have ever wanted in life? Truly, there are no adequate words to express my love and gratitude for her and what she has blessed me with.
   I suppose I should start at the beginning… If you have followed my blog, you will know that Ryan and I were set up by a mutual friend. Her name is Diane. At the time of the “set-up,” Diane and I didn’t really know each other very well. We were sort of friends, as I call it, but in reality we were more just acquaintances. We hadn’t ever hung out just the two of us, or talked on the phone, or done anything that female friends do, besides party together. After she set Ryan and me up, she and I instantly became friends. Maybe it was because the set-up was successful... I am sure that was part of it, but the night she set us up we were out together, just her, her husband, and myself, and we had a blast! I think that night was the clincher, whether Ryan and I worked out or not. We had more fun that I had had with anyone in a long time, and we had tons in common. She was just so down-to-earth... my kind of girl.
   Ryan and Diane had already been friends for many years, and our friendship blossomed after the set-up. We hung out a lot and became very close quite quickly. Over the next few years, our friendship strengthened, even though there was physical distance between us because her husband has a job that requires them to move a lot. We always kept in contact, whether it was through texts, emails, Facebook, skyping, or visits when she was in town, you name it.
   My favourite part about our friendship was that Diane and Ryan had a history, so she really knew us both and the three of us could hang out without it being strange, or needing a fourth person in the mix.
   Since Diane was the person who put Ryan and me together, we wanted her to be a part of our wedding. At the same time as we were trying to figure out who was going to be a part of it, and what role they would each play, we also were trying to decide who would officiate. Neither Ryan nor I are very religious at all, so a minister or pastor was not going to work for us. We wouldn’t have been comfortable with that. We knew that it was possible to get someone you know to be a commissioner for a day. Diane was the perfect choice! It seemed so fitting for her, the matchmaker, to “seal the deal.”
   She was in town over Christmas so we arranged a “date” to go out for dinner together. I will never forget that because all three of us ended up crying in the restaurant! We had sat down and begun to chat when it became quite awkward because she could tell we were working up to something, and we were so nervous about asking. Finally when we said, “Will you marry us?” we were all crying and laughing and it was a very special moment for me, as I am sure it was for Ryan and Diane as well.
   We thought it was all pretty cool that the woman who had set us up was also going to be the woman who would marry us! What kind of story that was! Well, it only got better! I am not sure at what point in time, whether it was before we got married or after, that everyone we knew had already heard about my not being able to have babies and us possibly using a surrogate… even though we weren’t “ready” yet. A bunch of people had actually offered, three of whom I believe were serious, with two of them being my sisters-in-law. I am so lucky to have so many people in this world willing to help me. Let the world know just how appreciative I am.
   However, both of my sisters-in-law weren’t done making their families. In fact, one of them hadn’t even started yet, and being that they are my family, I was nervous about the bonding issue and possibly putting the existing relationships at risk, so I didn’t want to take them up on their offers. I do believe that if I had, both of them would have done it, or made a valiant effort to try to, even while building their own families. I am beyond grateful for both of those women in my life, and happy to say that they are busy creating and building their own families, and in fact, they are both pregnant with their second child right now! Everyone is healthy and happy, and I feel close to both of them.
   There were some women who joked about carrying a baby for me but wanting the right to do certain things, or have me raise it in certain ways. Clearly, they didn’t understand what a gestational surrogate is (biologically mine and Ryan’s), so they would have no real genetic relationship... or they thought they were being funny... These people pissed me off, mostly because they were ignorant and I was still dealing with the emotion of it all and had no room for jokes about it. 
   Anyway, there was that third woman! One day, out of nowhere, I got an email from Diane and it basically said that if we wanted and were comfortable with it, she would be happy to be a surrogate for us. I nearly fell off of my chair! Now this was an offer that I didn’t know if I could refuse.
   Of course, Ryan and I talked a lot about it and we weren’t ready to begin that process at any rate, so we didn’t agree to anything right then. In fact, I don’t really remember how or when it came to be that we did agree with her verbally, but from that moment on I remember feeling very comfortable with her in that very important role.
   To be a surrogate you have to have had at least one healthy pregnancy and birth of your own. Diane has two kids of her own. She is adamant that she is done her own family and that she wants very badly to do this for us. We have had many, many, many discussions and are all on the same page as to how things will go.
   This woman, with whom I partied with many years ago, has now turned out to not only have set me up with the man of my dreams, but she also married us, and is now going forward with trying to be a surrogate for us. I don’t have the words to express my love and gratitude, and I have no idea how I can ever repay her for what she has done and is doing for me. She is single-handedly making my dreams come true.
   Diane is a most incredible woman, even outside of what she has done for Ryan and me, but when I asked her if I could write a blog post about her, she responded that she didn’t need a medal but said I could write whatever I wanted (or else this post wouldn’t exist). She doesn’t want the recognition. She isn’t doing this to receive thanks or a reward. She is doing this because she loves us, she thinks we deserve a child, and she is able to give it. She is doing it because of who she is, and I have told her many, many, many times that she is more than able to back out if she changes her mind, or if something in her own personal life changes and presents an issue. She is on board 150 percent. Even now, though, if she were to change her mind, or circumstances arise to where it doesn’t work out, I will always, always, always remember the hope and joy that she has made me feel.
   I was in a place for a very long time where I didn’t believe in the best of people anymore. I was beginning to become very cynical and angry. Over the past year and a half, since Ryan and I got married and we have begun to pursue this surrogacy thing in a real way, Diane and her offer, the things she says and has done, and the way she has become a part of our little family has restored my faith in humanity. There really are GOOD people out there.
   I understand that I haven’t even touched on who she is as a parent to her two amazing kids or as a volunteer in her community, or in all of the other roles she has in this world and does so well in, but if you understand all of who she is just to us, that is who she is to the world.
   Diane completes our love story.