Sunday, March 30, 2014

A funny thing called perspective....

   Not too much is new, but it's time for an update, as it's been awhile, so here it is.
   We have all completed our initial tasks and, surprisingly, Ryan had the toughest job so far. He had to get some blood work done, which was no big deal, but he also had to get his “swimmers” tested. That was both nerve-wracking and very uncomfortable for him… so I will spare you the details, but it is done and we are now waiting for the results.
I had to get blood work done at two different points in the month, and Diane had to get a referral from her doctor. Now, with all of these things being completed, we play the waiting game. Our appointment for Ryan’s results isn’t until mid-April, which is when I assume we will get my results from the blood work as well. They basically need to make sure we have viable sperm and eggs because, if there is an issue there, then this whole thing is all for not.
   We are still so excited and feeling so very blessed, and cannot wait for this all to come to fruition. I have to say though, we are really enjoying this waiting time as well. It’s definitely frustrating that it takes so long between appointments but it is really helping us to keep everything in perspective.
   Ryan and I are very good at seeing the bigger picture for most things in life and this, of course, is no different. Currently, we are getting to enjoy watching our friends and families build their own families. Because of our situation and, perhaps, unique awareness, I think we are appreciating more than we might otherwise, both what they are going through and what we won’t have to.
   We understand that our situation is going to bring all kinds of challenges that aren’t typical, like possibly not getting to go to ultra-sound appointments, not getting to feel the baby grow or see it growing every day, along with all kinds of emotional ups and downs that we cannot predict. But, we also know that we are going to be getting a very unique experience in this life that not many people have the opportunity to have. That is how I am looking at it now, by the way, as an opportunity and experience, rather than a forced situation. It has taken a much more positive perspective in my heart and mind than it ever has before. I was so down about it all before, and had a very “why me” attitude. I was very envious of all women who aren’t faced with this. But now I see it in a whole new way. Of course, I would still love to experience pregnancy, but this way I get to share that not only with my husband, but also another person and family as well. Not only is this going to affect Diane in a very unique and major way, but this will also affect her family. Her husband and children are going to have this as a part of their life story too, and, to me, that is beyond amazing!
   Ryan and I also talk about all the “down” sides to being pregnant that I won’t have to go through, like hormones out of whack, morning sickness, etc. Of course I’d be happy to take on all of it if I could, but not being able to, I am better able to see the positive spin on it, and I have to embrace that. Ryan, of course, is grateful he won't have to cater to my every whim...although I may get some 'sympathy' cravings hahaha....
   We are also doing this thing, which might seem crazy, but we are enjoying each other and our childless life.
I work two jobs and have what can feel like very little 'free' time sometimes We are fully aware that when we do have a child, our life will be so different. But, since our road to parenthood is a much longer one than most, we are more appreciative of our child-free mornings, and structure-free lifestyle. We are enjoying our time together as a childless couple, and are more in love now than the day we married.
   Because we don’t have any results yet, we really don't have any idea as to what to expect next. Things can go smoothly, or there could be bumps in the road, or something could happen to make it all for not. We do our best not to think about what 'could' happen, and try to focus on the end result, which is becoming a family of 3 (or 4 if you want to count the dog).
   I believe i
t’s all in your own perspective, and I am grateful that I am now able to recognize and appreciate the positive sides to this experience. We both truly believe that things always have a way of working out as, and when they should, so we hold onto that and it helps us every day.
   The outpouring of love, support and contributions we received since the last blog posting have been beyond overwhelming. We cannot be more grateful, and we thank you!! Right now, we are not officially planning a social. We need the medical results first, a better time line, and a clearer cost outline before we begin any “real” plans. But, knowing that there are so many people out there who are willing to support us is, well, it just makes me cry tears of joy and appreciation. I truly do not have the right words for it besides love and gratitude.
   So, I hope all of you who have messaged me or someone in our family know that it has not gone unnoticed. It is appreciated to the ends of the earth. Ryan and I thank each and every one of you because without all of your love and encouragement, this road would be a lot more terrifying. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
   Until next time...