The future

 
   Ryan and I have put the baby situation on hold for now because we are not even close financially to being ready. We have agreed that we will never truly be “ready” – is anyone? Ryan has said to me that when I am ready to get the ball rolling, we will. Believe me, I want to go ahead right now, today, or tomorrow, or even the next day!

   However, I also believe in being a responsible parent and the first step under that heading, in MY opinion, is definitely not to bring a child into this world when we cannot afford it. Yes, of course that means diapers, toys, clothes, etc., but what I really am referring to most is the cost to CREATE our child.

Adoption and IVF and surrogacy all have major costs attached to them. The fees are different depending on which agency you use, if you use an agency, if the IVF transfer is successful, who you choose as a surrogate and how much compensation they expect, and many, many other factors. 

   Traditional surrogacy, which is probably what most people think of when they hear that word, means taking the male’s sperm and implanting it into a surrogate female to create a baby using the surrogate’s egg. This can also be done with an egg donor and/or sperm donor. Both options have extra costs for each service.

   Then there is gestational surrogacy, which is when you take the “intended mother’s” egg and the “intended father’s” sperm and implant them into a surrogate female. The baby has no biological ties to the surrogate female, who is basically just an “oven” or womb, and the baby is completely, 100 percent the child of the intended biological parents. This option is best for women who just don’t have an environment within their bodies that is conducive to the growth of a baby and survival of both mother and child, which is my situation. This is the option Ryan and I want to try.

   I took the following information from an online agency called Canadian Surrogacy Online. It shows how they break down the costs. Each agency is different. This one is actually one of the most inexpensive that I have found.

   <http://www.surrogacy.ca/services/cost-of-surrogacy.html>

Average Costs for Gestational Surrogacy
IVF Cycle (This is subject to clinic fees, number of cycles...)	$10,000-$20,000+
Medical Evaluation	$800-$1,500
Psychological Evaluation	$500-$1,000
Surrogate Mother Expenses (Pre-Pregnancy) (These are receiptable expenses that cover the cost of expenses travelling to an IVF clinic, such as gas, mileage, childcare, lost wages, food, airfare/accommodations etc.)	$1,500-$3,000+
Surrogate Mother Expenses (During Pregnancy) (These are receiptable expenses that can include clothing, food, childcare, travel costs, lost wages, medications, etc.)	$10,000-$25,000+
Additional Surrogate Mother Expenses (1) C-section Birth (2) Multiple Birth (3) Bed rest * Please note that these expenses may not be needed.	(1) $1,000-$3,000 (2) $1,000-$3,000 (3) $150-$400/week
Legal Fees (Representation for both parties.)	$8,000-$10,000
1 Year Life Insurance Policy (Purchased to protect surrogate mother’s family).	$300-500
DNA Diagnostics (To ensure baby is genetically related to the intended parents.)	$1,500
Total	$32,600-$76,500+
* Additional costs can include intended parents travel (airfare, accommodations, food, gas, etc.) * Some IVF cycles are covered under provincial health plans depending on type of infertility. * Quebec offers three government funded IVF cycles.

   So, will Ryan and I ever really be ready? … At this point it doesn’t look promising, and that’s depressing, but we are hopeful!!